8/8/10

Some Scrapbook Pages

Desperate sugar addiction calls for desperate measures

I have no power over sugar. I know this, and yet, when faces with a tray of sugar cookies with sugar on top on the clearance table at Wal-mart, all reason went out the window and I bought them. This was Wedensday night. I ate about 3 that night, and yesterday I ate about 8. Today I filled the bag with water so I couldn't dig them out of the trash and eat them.  Gary said just throw them away, but I had to tell him I have been known to get them back out of the garbage can. Thus... the water. 

I guess it isn't really sugar that I am addicted to, since I have a bowl full of hershey's kisses, half dark half milk chocolate, and I am not haunted by them, I rarely eat more than one or two at a time and usually not everyday. So what is it about baked goods that draws me like a bee to a flower? I don't know but I have to think of most sugars as a poison to my body, and baked goods in particular.

So just for today, I will not eat anything baked.   I am having a taco salad for lunch ( I never made it to breakfast today) I got 4 crunchy tacos from Del Taco, the cheap .39 ones, so you know there isn't much meat, emptied out the guts into a bowl, added a whole tomato and some salsa and that is my lunch.

My food totals today

We went to the move program at VA yesterday and were weighed... I am now at 316.  They also gave us a food diary that is a pain, but I put in to spark then I can list it in the booklet.

Totals today are:\
Calories    1885
Protein       78
Carbs         241
Fiber          12
Fat              78

and 2190 steps.  I tried to go to the gym today, but it was closed because they were cleaning the carpets!

Maybe I shouldn't have a cheat day...

Today is my designated "cheat day" and frankly, all the crap I have eaten today makes me feel like the little kid that got to eat all the junk she wanted at the fair, and felt sick as a dog.  Having eaten so well this week, the hamburger I had for dinner was just a blob of fat in my stomach.  The cookies need to just get thrown out.

I am glad I start over tomorrow.

I am thankful for my little birdie :)

I got a text today... No blog entry... I am thankful for those little reminders!  Today was a good day, It is 82 degrees outside !  I started my day with my strawberries, and an english muffin later in the morning with a tsp of peanut butter on each side, and a smear of sugarfree jam, but I think this jam is going in the garbage of Gary doesn't like it -just doesn't taste good to me.

At about 1 i had 3 pieces 1/4" x 1"x 1" of gouda cheese and a small 2oz bowl of whole grain goldfish. I was surprised when I read the package a serving is about 55 fish, and these little cups hold about 15 max. But a serving actually had 4 grams of protien.  I knew we were going to the movie today, and didt' want to eat a lot, but surprisingly I was satisfied.

the movie was good, We saw the Green Zone. It just brings closer the area where Gary jr was, and make me as a mother very glad my son is no longer there.  I had a half a nacho tray of unbuttered popcorn, ( there is a big orville reddenbacher sign saying no trans fats, but who really knows...) and I added a little ranch seaoning for flavor. and had a bottle of water.

after the movie we decided to go have Japaneese food.  I knew it wasn't Saturday, which is cheat day, but I didn't think I did too bad.  I started with miso soup, and they brought a tray with shrimp and vegetable tempura, teriyaki chicken, rice, 6 california rolls, and a salad with too much dressing!  Not bad for $8.95.  I finally tried a california roll, won't do that again!  But we brought the remainder home, I ate the salad next, and it did have more dressing than I would have put on it, I have to remember next time to get it on the side.  I ate one of the shrimp, then stripped the coating off the other one.  I ate the zucchini, carrot and half the eggplant. I only ate half the chicken and rice, and brought the rest home.  I was very full, and would have stopped eating earlier if I had been eating at home.  

I will try to only have a piece of fruit tonight, we ate at 4pm and at 6 I am still feeling full.

I have only walked about 2500 steps for both yesterday and today ( total 5000, ) But I am setting a goal of 3000 tomorrow, or 500 more than I have when I head to bed tonight.

Well, it is time to color some things for the cards that I am making, and I can't eat while doing it.  A good thing to keep my hands busy.

Sunday, and it has been a good weekend!

I feel good about the weekend. On Saturday we had to be up at 5:30 to go to Natalie's Dance competition and there was no time for food. So after we watched her ( nodding off before her turn...) we had an hour before Harrison had his basketball double header and headed in search of a sit down meal. We found a restaurant up the street that we had a coupon for and I chose a chicken, avacado, mushroom and cheese omlet.  When it came it had 2 generous slices of munster cheese on top and looked wonderful, but large. I gave the edges to Zues, and took a bite, boy I do not like mushrooms, but they were easy to remove for the most part, and I gave those to Gary.  I peeled back the cheese to one side, and ate just bites of cheese with half the omlet. I kept hearing something my sister said once...  You have already paid for it whether you eat the whole thing or not" . So basically do I want to pay for it twice by eating more than makes me full?  I kept thinking of that as I ate. ( See, I DO listen LOL)  Eating it all because it was paid for is just plain dumb. The money is gone either way. I even left the deep fried hash browns - ok maybe they were oven fried the 2nd time, but I left them alone, I didn't even have 1.  I can't say I would have been so good if it had been red potatoes with onions, but that wouldn't have been so fattening either.

When we got home, we took a much needed nap, and so no mid-meal.  When we got up, I made a salad with the guts from some leftover tacos and an orange.

I had in the freezer a package of Edwards, Key Lime Pie, and knew I wouldn't throw it out, so I made a conscience choice to have a slice ( 330 calories, 16 gr fat, 11 of which were saturated, 33 gr of sugar and 4 gr protien.  I topped it with rasberries and enjoyed it.  There is one left, and yes, I will eat that the same way, but I also know I will not buy anymore. 

Today I got up at 9:30, a bit later than I want to be getting up, but with daylight savings time going into effect, i will get up earlier as the week progresses.  I started my morning with a half a glass of reservitrol, and an english muffin with sugar free jam. 

At 11:30 I had a dry bowl of cherrios for 70 calories, and a cup of cut strawberries, plain. Then went to church from 1-4pm.  When I got home, I had a salad, with tomatoes and a 1/4 c blue cheese crumbles, and a coke zero.

That is where I am in my day.... feeling good,

Update for today March 11, 2010

I started today in great spirits, and with a walk around the block. I got after myself when I had 2 hotdogs for lunch, then read how fattening they are,  Had a snickerdoodle for a snack, and still I was feeling pretty good.

Then Gary said something that upset me, and I started to fall down the hill, another snickerdoodle, and then an avacado squished into quacomole and 10 multi-grain pringles. I am not too upset about it, but after reading the label, I realize the multi-grain doesn't mean they are good grains since it was rice and corn with potatoes... won't buy them again!

Gary made bean soup for dinner with ham hocks for flavor, and I had a good bowl of that with a parmesean biscuit.

I walked about 4000 steps today, so tomorrow has to be more!

Time to begin again

It has been a month since I wrote here. That means it is not serving it's purpose. I am re-dedicating it and am going to do this every day, probably several times a day.

Today I started with a serving of applesause and a V8.  Then I took a walk around the block for 1150 steps.  Gary wants to go to the movie today, so I will go prepared with my water and a cup for plain popcorn. And make sure I eat before we go!

12:15 and on track.

Elephant in the room!

There is a really good reason for not having sweets in the house while trying to eat right.  Yesterday, I got up, made the gym for 10 minutes of Bike and 5 of Treadmill. I came home, ate a banana, a whole wheat english muffin, tuna for lunch., a porkchop for dinner and was feeling good about my eating... well, pretty much.  But there was a brownie on the kitchen counter... and when I got ticked off at my wireless keyboard, I grabbed it and ate it.  I saw it there all day... and was doing ok until then...

it just doesnt' pay to have anything in the house like that. Just buying it I set myself up for failure. 

Today I never got down to the gym, and we are having pizza for dinner, but I will go easy on it. I am ok tonight.

Tomorrow we go to Vegas to watch our grandson play basketball. I plan to do some walking tomorrow.

Good Morning Monday

I actually set my alarm last night!  I didn't make it to the gym as much as I wanted last week, Saturday is an optional day and Sunday is a day off.  But I made a pledge to myself and am making to all of you that I will be in the gym 5 days this week!  I was in the gym by 8:30 this morning which is the earlest I hvae ever made it. I went 10 minutes ( 2 miles) on the stationary bike and another 10 minutes (.37 mi) on the treadmill.

There is a lot of equipment I have no idea how to use, but one had pullies and weights, so I figured I would do 10 arm pulls on each arm at 20 lbs. I can only hope I am doing it right....

I have had 2 glasses of water and a V8 this morning. I am out of bananas so I guess I am making a trip to the store today. Time for some yogurt!  I will be back later.

I am up today

When I got up this morning, the ankle on my bad leg ( has a metal rod in it) hurt.  I have decided not to go to the gym, but because I am not going, I feel a bit like a failure. I will work through it. I started the day with a V8.. and will grab a banana too.  We are going to the movie today, so I want to be full before the popcorn comes. I don't get my own, and Gary likes lots of the butter flavor.... not good on my waist!

I will report in soon,

I started off good today

I made it to the gym today and did 3 minutes of stair stepper to warm up, then 10 minutes on the stationary bike and 10 on the treadmill. I came back and had yogurt and felt it was going to be a good day.
     For lunch we went to mexican, where I go fajitias with black beans and no rice thinking I was gonig good, and I would have been if I had not eaten the tortillas!  I didn't learn until later when I entered everything into Spark (see my list of links) did I learn it cost me 312 calories and 52 grams of fat!
     So I thought I would go light at dinner, so I had a banana and a cup of Campbell's Chunky chili for 200 calories. Now I am craving sugar and trying not to give in.  Time for another big glass of water and see if it passes!

I am losing it

The title can be taken a couple of ways.  I am losing my sanity, or losing my weight.  Actually I think this journey of weight loss will be a cause of losing my sanity.  I have come to a point where I have to so something if I want quality in my life.  I am hoping this blog will keep me accountable.  I will be opening my heart up, and exploring why I eat what I do, and ways to get healthy again.

Here is a picture of me as I begin my journey...  as you can imagine, it is not easy to post this picture.

but we all have to have a beginning and this is mine. I am 318 lbs, the heaviest I have every been, and my BMI is 54.58 I am morbidly obese.  And to think when I married Gary 24 1/2 years ago, I weighted 135.

Time has come....